first step to healing. finally. =)

pagkatapos ng mahabang panahon na pag-iyak, pagdadasal at maraming pages na pagsusulat sa journal ko, finally, naharap ko na rin yung pinaka-kinakatakutan ko: ang harapin at kausapin siya.

nakakatawa kasi isa siya sa mga pinaka-nakakakilala sa akin (at ganun din ako sa kanya). siguro nga, dahil dun kaya takot din akong makita siya. kahit anong dasal ko na wag na sana kaming magkita, ala, isa lang sinasabi ni God: “haay, khyme, kung hindi ngayon, kelan mo pa siya haharapin?”

nung una ko siya nakita, parang tumigil yung tibok ng puso ko: di ko alam kasi kung kakausapin niya ako o hindi. pero as usual, kung ano yung trato niya sa iba, ganun din siya sa akin. yun nga lang, minus the care, the charisma, the sweetness of our friendship.

i was praying that God will give that person the initiative to talk to me, because i know that i couldn’t. i couldn’t brought up the topic, i couldn’t even look up on that person’s eyes, as in di ko kaya. at buti na lang, mabait si God, mahal niya kaming 2, ayun pinakinggan niya yung dasal ko ng sinabi niya “khyme, usap tayo bukas.”

true enough, nag-usap naman kami. everything was explained and talked about, a little cry-session (di pwede kasi may ibang tao) at maraming sorrys’ at i love yous’.

although alam namin na we still need time to heal all the wounds we’ve caused each other, at least we made the first step to healing: to talk about it. and what a relief after, knowing that i could already sleep in peace not having bad dreams about what happened to us or whatsoever. praise God we’re still friends after all. =)

excited ako sa muli naming pagkikita. and hoping pa rin ako na darating din kami dun sa point na mababalik din namin sa tama ang lahat. =)

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