Have you read the story of Job? He is a fictional character in the Bible that was described as “a blameless and upright man who feared God and shunned evil” (Job 1:1). But God has allowed Satan to do anything he wants to Job, but with one condition: Satan shouldn’t lay one finger to Job. So many catastrophes have happened to Job: death of his children, lost of his properties, sickness for himself – and he has every reason to complain and blame God for every disaster in His life! But He didn’t; “In spite of this calamity, Job did not sin by blaspheming God.” (Job 1:22)
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These days, I feel like I am God’s favorite, that I am Job.
Hey, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that I am blameless nor an upright woman who feared God and shunned evil as what the Bible has described Job. I’m still too far from that.
What I want to say is that, I feel like Job because of the continuous trials that’s coming my way.
One after another. You haven’t recovered yet from the previous trial, then here comes another.
It’s difficult. Heartbreaking. Let me share to you why.
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I experienced my Job-like life last year.
First was my operation in May.
Then Lola’s hospitalization in June then eventually she died in September.
Then my Mom was operated last September then found out she has Stage 3 cancer.
And it continued this year:
Mom underwent Chemotheraphy and ended last February.
My cousin had a car accident last March that caused him a finger and financial obligations.
I found out that I have new set of cysts again two weeks ago.
And then now, while writing this, Mom just got operated and as what the doctor said, the findings weren’t that good.
Finances were not that good either.
My brother is still studying.
We just finished the chemotheraphy sessions and that dried up our finances.
Our jobs are not that income-generating. (My parents are both government employees and I am a missionary)
If you are in my shoes, what will you do?
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After the doctor explained to me the findings they had during the operation, I went straight to the chapel.
The first thing that I said to God was “Hanep ka talaga Lord! Talagang pinapa-feel mo sa akin na ako talaga si Job!” (Awesome indeed you are, Lord! You’re really allowing me to feel that I am Job!)
Amazingly, I never questioned God.
I just knew that He allowed these things to happen because He is my God. He knows best.
And I know that He is with us during this time.
If He allowed trials and calamities to happen to Job despite of his faithfulness, why not to us?
All we are asked to do is to trust His divine plan; trust that He will see us through.
Just as what he did to the people around me. And also through me.
And even though it hurts, even though it was difficult to say, I know
that saying this prayer is the most sincere prayer I have ever prayed in the whole course of this ordeal.
This prayer that was said with all of my heart and all hope and faith that I have, that even if it breaks my heart saying this, I know it is the right thing to do:
“Lord, let your will be done in my Mom’s life and the lives of our family.”
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My family doesn’t know the findings yet as of this writing.
And as I look at my Mom right now, lying in the bed with all the tubes in her body, I can’t help but get teary eyed and pray – “Lord, you’re still great because despite of everything that happened to our family, we have come this far. Thank you for all the opportunities to trust and experience your greatness just like seeing my mom survived the operation. I don’t know what will happen next, but I just know that you are in control, taking care of every detail. Jesus, I trust in You”.
It is only through God’s grace that I am still grateful and can see His hand working despite of these trials.
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And right now, this is how I imagined Jesus taking care of me while going all thru this – like a little girl embraced by my Father, my Savior, my greatest Healer – to conquer my fears and pacify the raging storms in my life. I know that I am taken care of, and looking at this picture gives me calmness and reassurance that my God, yes my Almighty God who is just, righteous and merciful, will take care of everything. And I know that He is preparing us for whatever that may happen.
Only through His grace that we can overcome these things.
And if we have to go through these trials, so that His plans will take place and He will be glorified, then allow us to partake with His suffering in the cross by going through this difficulty.
And now, I feel God’s favorite. For He saw me and my family worthy to carry this cross.
Thank you, Father God. For your trust, for the faith, and for the people praying for us and extending their love for us. For indeed, nothing can separate us from your love.