“bakit hindi?”

Last Saturday, me and my other co-missionaries went to Tala, Kalookan to present KFL and Live Pure to the catechist and youths respectively. I was able to share stories with one of the catechist during our fellowship, where she voluntarily told her struggles in being a servant of God. That at one point, she realized that the more she becomes closer to the Lord, the harder the difficulties she had to faced.

It was when she said Yes to serve the Lord full-time as a Catechist that the most challenging struggle came – one of her sons run away from home. She was confused; many times she asked the Lord why it is happening, why during the time she said Yes to Him, that it is unfair. And all this time, the Lord was silent to her. Many nights she cried, many text messages sent to her son’s friends to look for him, many prayer moments begging the Lord to lead her to her son. Until one day, she got used to it. She still looked for him, but less crying. She focused herself serving the Lord. Making herself busy with service to her family and to the Church. But she never stopped praying and waiting for her son to come back home.

It was during her son’s birthday that the Lord’s answer came. She asked the Lord the same question: “Bakit ako? (Why me?)”. And the Lord said, “Bakit hindi? (Why not?)” And for some reason, she felt at peace. She felt the Lord telling her that “it’s okay, I’m with you”. She now understands that there’s no exception, that even though you serve the Lord, you will still experience trials, sufferings and may require sacrifice on your part. But the difference is, you have a better understanding. For you know that the Lord is with you, and that all sufferings will turn out to something good.

*   *   *

Many times, I am like the Catechist I met – asking, doubting, believing that I don’t deserve these difficulties in my life.

But all the time, whenever I ask God about these, all I can hear Him telling me is “Why not?”

Why not… when I have stayed with you through good times and bad?

Why not… when I still choose to forgive and save you even at many times you hurt me when you sin?

Why not… when I still choose to love you even if there are many reasons not to?

And these make me realize that, yes, it’s okay to go through these trials.

That yes, it’s okay to cry, to ask and be hurt over and over again.

For I know that my God, who loves me and have allowed these things to happen, is with me.

And knowing that, makes me confident to face the trials in my life.

For He had, has and will deliver me until the end of time.

For even how unfaithful I am, my God will always remain faithful.

*   *   *

By the way, the Catechist’s son messaged her other son, letting them know that he’s okay. And for her, it’s an answered prayer.

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